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'Fatherhood: Rites and Responsibilities'

'The chicken with children doesn't swallow the worm' - African Proverb, Sukuma

Greetings, It's been awhile since I last wrote, much has happened, too much to share. Firstly, I want to thank those of you that continue to support the Ligali Organisation, from your kind words and donations, to participating every Tuesday with our radio programme. Due to studying, community and family commitments, I have not had much time to myself over the past few months, apologies to those many people that have written and called and too whom I have not yet responded.

I don't have much to say this week, it's an election and the usual proponents of the 'we 'blacks' can determine the outcome of the election' or 'our Ancestors died so we can vote' and the 'if we don't vote the BNP will get in' drivel are earning their keep. It's pointless me explaining why all these statements are manipulative lies and distortions. If the nightmare of the past thirteen years of Labour and before that the hellish era of a racist, immoral Tory government doesn't convince you then nothing will. It's as if some of us still haven't yet learnt the lesson from our family in the US. I mean if discrimination, anti-immigration, economic impoverishment, academic disempowerment, mass unemployment, police brutality and racism against Africans in America can still exist, and in some areas actually increase under Obama's presidency, then please, you go ahead and vote, if that's what you want to believe, good luck to you, I hope it makes you feel better. If you want a better understanding of the issue then please try and get a copy of the Great Debate from the BBC, where Malcolm and his team wiped the floor with our beloved brother Martin ;-).


Perhaps those of us that believe in prophesises can wait until 2012 for the end of the world and after that whatever next conspiracy gathers currency. In the meanwhile, the many thousands of REAL community workers needing support from those of us who only mobilise politically once every four years to 'work' by ticking a box as their democratic right remain' well, wronged.

My advice is simple, don't vote for those that do not represent us or deliberately misrepresent us. If you feel that you must vote and validate the corrupt system, then only do so in active support of a person (not party) that has a history and track record of uncompromised community representation and action. That means our grass root councillors, NOT the MP's who are too afraid to support us, yet happily criticise from afar.

Please do some research first before you commit yourself. If everyone abstained as means of taking the principled stand of voting 'no confidence' in the system, it could force a revolution leading to the entire rotten political system being overthrown. Until then, we wait like lambs to the slaughter for politicians to force us into supporting them by one day making voting and national service compulsory.

How to be a man

April 13th is my birthday and as I turn 43, I have started to reflect back on the many accomplishments of my father who passed in his early fifties from a condition that like sickle cell is also hereditary. My father was not perfect, but he was perfect for us. A lone man raising his children singlehandedly provided him with many challenges I could not even begin to appreciate as a child, however today, as a father myself I am amazed to learn some of the things he had to go through as I experience them with my own children and partner. I remember how he always placed our wellbeing before that of his own happiness. Finding a lifelong wife, developing his career, making money all these took a back seat to first, providing us with spiritual wealth and emotional security. How did he do it? Where did he get his support and encouragement? What can we do to improve ourselves and provide suitable guidance for our growing young boys today?

This week's programme is about fatherhood, rites and responsibilities. We will be reasoning on this and related topics. Brothas often need a space to talk to each other without interruption so the discussion will start without female participation. Whether you are a father or not it's an opportunity to listen and learn. The space will be for men only until we open up the circle for female energy. It's a support circle so we will be looking for healing and positive guidance, not the negativity of any so called 'angry vaginas (what a horrendously patronising term for our sistas). Preach or teach, if you have something to say then please join us. Listen and learn - it should be educational and uplifting.

Peace.

May the Ancestors guide and protect us. Ase.

Toyin Agbetu is a writer, film director, poet, and founder of Ligali, the pan African human rights based organisation.

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